SAHM

I'm really enjoying my life as a SAHM (Stay-at-home-mum)
No Joke. I thought I would have gone crazy by Week 3 but I didnt.

During our stay in Newport, Rhode Island, our neighbourhood was full of SAHMs. The playground just a few streets from our house became the de-factor meeting place for the mummies. Strollers parked in a row, children screaming together and the mummies gathered at a corner gossiping, oops I meant catching up with each other. I could NEVER imagine myself being one.


BUT, never say never.

The daily routine is mundane to the point of boring at times. My world now revolves around feeding, burping, changing soiled diapers, putting him to bed, the daily walk around the neighbourhood park. My new-found gadgets - flash cards upon flash cards, kids stories books, rattle, soft toys. Yet despite the "mundaneness", everyday is also an adventure. I discover new things about Baby C and me. I learn new tricks with him and simply enjoying the time spent together. I'm so glad that I will be able to witness my little darling grows, to be there for him at every milestone of his growing years.

But being a SAHM also means there are sacrifices we need to make together as a family. Gone are the days when the husband buys any gadget at will and I dont think twice spending on a spa massage session.We've downgraded our Residence and settled for a cheaper car. We no longer eat out so often, probably only once a week. We watched our expenses ever so carefully. We have postponed our holiday plans indefinitely and that also means no more designer bags, shoes and watches for me for quite a (long) while.

Yet, I'm contented.
(strange choice of word ya)
But I am.

I'm so grateful to my Hubby who worked so hard to bring in the bacon so that I can do what I've always wanted to do - be there for my children.

Do I miss working? Yes I do
Do I miss being financially independent? Yes I do
Do I miss the mental stimulation and the intellectual debates in school? Yes I do

But I believe there is a season for everything.
Season to Chiong for ministry; Season to study; Season to work; Season to play
It varies for different ones. I salute and admire mothers in church who juggle work,ministry and family, its really NO MEAN FEAT. But for me, this is the season in my life that I want to be there Full Time for my family and kids and be THE BEST I can be.

I read this somewhere: "The Days are Long, but The Years are Short"

I wanna hold Christian when he still wants me; I wanna learn with Christian when he still needs me; I wanna take a walk with him daily when he is still willing and comfort him when he would still run to me. There will come a time when he will stretch his wings and soar. I want to be able to look back and say once again:

I'm Contented

My darling angel, you are worth every sacrifice :)

C's First Dip

Mummy was in dire need of exercise.
Hence, when Daddy A was able to come home earlier last Friday,
we decided to take C for his FIRST DIP at Bedok Swimming Complex.
*claps* What a milestone! Ha!

I cant say C was very thrilled with the experience.
I love my C. He is not a cry-baby, though he was uncomfortable with the water, he merely frowned and "got along with the programme".
But Daddy and Mummy had alot of fun simply looking at Baby C in his Pooh Bear swimsuit, courtesy of Aunty TingTing.

So I shall let the pictures do the talking!

Doing Well by Doing Good

Doing Well by Doing Good
This is a rather popular book that was featured a few years back.
For those who attend CHC, you might recall Pst Tan preaching on it a few years back.



Was reminded about this while reading the Straits Times today.
The Straits Times did a feature story on India's development, particularly, Singaporeans who are making a living residing in the various parts of India.
One of the man featured was Mr Ding Eu-wen, a 25-year old North Western University graduate working for an NGO EMBRACE in Bangalore Tarnataka. EMBRACE is a start-up NGO which manufactures infant-warmer as an alternative to infant incubator. A traditional infant incubator costs about USD20,000 to manufacture. Because of the high cost involved, many hospitals in the rural part of India which cannot afford one within the hospital sees premature infants dying every day. The infant warmer which costs USD200 is a much cheaper alternative, and potentially a life saver.

This post is not dedicated to promoting infant-warmer.
Mr Ding could have easily landed a job in any MNCs given his education and family background. But the 25-year old chose to devote his time working for a start-up NGO because he wanted to make a difference. It's interesting that this former ACJC student scorned at the idea of being a social worker at age 17 because quote "there's no real money in it"
So what caused the change of mind?
He attributed it to the increased exposure while travelling to different parts of the world.
The more he travels, he felt an increasing sense of responsibility to DO something.

It really got me thinking once again.
What do I want to do with my life? And more importantly, what do I want for Baby C?
The husband and I have been talking about this over the past 1 year.

Daddy A is a very intellectual person, and given his education background, he wants Baby C to follow his footsteps and do very well in his studies. Amen to that.
Haha I remember while we were at Harvard University in February this year, Daddy A was whispering to my tummy and say "Baby C, welcome to your future university!"

Harvard University

However we both agreed that beyond being bookworms, we would like our children to be exposed to social realities at a young age and we want to travel with them and show them the different kind of life beyond what Singapore can offer.

I think our short stint in the USA changed our perspective.
We talk about making a difference, do something positive with our lives. We preached that alot in church. But it is only when we had a chance to live and travel in the US, venturing into the inner cities, visiting poor suburbs as well as wealthy cities, that the whole spectrum of experiences got us thinking. These travel experiences shape our perspective on what matters in life and what we want to do with it. There is a world out there beyond CHC, beyond Big Days, beyond Singapore that needs someone to make a difference.

I hope Baby C can experience first hand the different cultures and societies
(both the Ups and the Downs)
I want him to start understanding the concept of Doing well by Doing Good at a young age.
First up, it gonna start with the parents. Would love to bring Baby C with me to the old folks home and Children's home soon when he is slightly older.

Daddy A and I are going to commit to our first property very soon, a resale HDB at Serangoon Central. Well meaning friends have encouraged us to go for a private property, seeing that it makes alot more sense from an investment standpoint, especially now. But we've decided on a much cheaper alternative as we felt that it is more worthwhile to save up the spare cash for Baby C's education, and more importantly, to fund our family's travel expenses with BabyC.
We hope (and think) that the exposure gleaned from these trips would be more valuable to Baby C than living in a private condominium.
Haha HK Disneyland, Orlando Universal Studios are probably not going to be on Baby C's travel list anytime soon (not our idea kinda trips. just personal preference). Hopefully Cambodia and Taiwan are 2 destinations that we can work towards pretty soon. :)

Ok enough of rambling.
I'm so inspired to re-read the book "Doing well by Doing good" again.
Time to pray and hit the sack
Selah to all...

Baby C sleeps through the Night

I'm totally blessed with a baby that sleeps through the night.
Yes, baby C now sleeps from 830pm till 7am the next day without waking up since Week 10.
Reminiscing the initial days when Baby C woke up every 2 hours for feeding throughout the night, it still sends shudders down my spine.

I know motherhood entails sacrifices and hard work and Im somewhat prepared for it. But given I did not have the luxury of any help from my mum or my MIL and any helper, it was really a challenge mentally and physically to care for the active baby during the day in a sleep-deprived mode. Moreover, Daddy A was sent on an overseas deployment for a month 4 weeks after Baby C was born, it was challenging.

It was ME vs C, no one else.

Hence it was out of desperate measure to preserve my sanity that I've decided to train C.
I believe babies are creatures of habits and they too can be trained at a young age. My friend Jiaqi gave me a book she bought from Taiwan which documents, step-by-step process of training a baby. I'm so grateful for the useful Information and I tailored it to suit Baby C.

Ok, I'm not saying it is easy for any mum to do but I was really convicted and was determined to do so. I'm documenting the process in this entry as a reminder for me on how to train my next baby. Hope it's useful for you too.

I started with Baby C when he was 7 weeks old.

A. Getting the baby into a DAYTIME routine (when to eat and when to sleep)

The first thing that I did was to get C's body accustomed to a routine during the day
Previously he slept when he wanted and fed solely by demand. On good days, he can sleep for 4 -5hours straight; on bad days, he was awake for up to 6 hours at a go. The lack of predictability affected me - both physically and mentally.

I adhered to the feed-play-sleep routine:

1. Feed - Ensure he is full.

I started by putting C on 3-hour feed schedule.
I ensure he is FULL after each feed and even when he cried in between the 3 hours I didnt feed him. Rather, I would try to distract him by playing and talking to him.
But I was flexible at the initial stage, +/- 20mins. After 3-4 days he adjusted to feed exactly at 3 hours.

2. Play - I expensed his energy after each feed by playing with him. I would sing to him, perform action songs together, belly play, read books, flash cards, jungle gym etc.
At times I would bring him for a walk aroundd the neighbourhood park or even to NTUC or Library.

3. Sleep - I put him to sleep within 1hour after each feed.

C protested vehemently the first few times but I would still put him in the cot. He screamed and wailed but I hardened my hard and let him cry (sometimes I sat beside his cot and cried together with him haha!) I wouldn't pick him up unless he is too traumatized by his own cries. Initially he cried himself too sleep. After 3-4 days, he knew that crying wouldnt get him picked up and his body adjusted to the routine slowly. By the end of the 1st week, C would fall asleep within 1 hour after each feed.

When I first started to train C, he would sleep for about 2 hours after each feed during the day, but woke up 2-3x to nurse during the night. But I gave him some time to adjust and I caught up on my sleep during the day while he took a nap.

Getting his body accustomed to a routine during the DAY is the first step. This helps to pave the way for me to get him to sleep through the night.


B. Getting the baby into a NIGHTTIME routine

I would bring baby C to his bedroom between 8-830pm each day.

I darken the room, leaving only a small nightlight on.
I dulled all activities - spoke to him softly, or caressed him gently. Even if he cries, I wouldnt bring him to the living room or turn on the lights.
For the first week, I was "locked up" in the same room with him from 8pm till whenever he slept, sometimes 1-2am every night. This lasted for 1.5 weeks. But after a while, when his body recgonized that nighttime is for sleeping he didnt fuss as much anymore

My last feed for him was around 1130pm/12am. I burped him, change his diaper and put him to bed.

He woke up around 3am to be fed (as per his 3 hour routine).
During the first night, I let him cry 5mins before feeding him; 2nd night, 10mins before feeding him. 3rd night 15mins before feeding him. 4th night 20mins before I feed. Before I knew it, he fell asleep while crying and does not demand any feed anymore.
I'm not saying its easy, it can be rather heart wrenching to hear him cry. But i did my research and checked with the PD, appropriate amount of crying is good for babies' lungs, it would not be detrimental unless its excessive.

So slowly, instead of waking up at 3am, he started waking up at 4am to be fed, then 5am to be fed and then 6am and now 7am.

I started having success by getting him to sleep from 12-6am. Then I kept putting him to bed earlier, 11pm, 10pm, 9pm etc. Nowadays, when I put him to bed at 830pm, he will fall asleep pretty soon. In fact, his body is so accustomed to the routine that by 8pm he is yawning away.


He sleeps now from aroundd 830pm till around 7am the next day. I would wake him up to feed him at 12am, but he usually sleeps while he suckles.

The whole process took about 2.5 weeks. By week 10, C was already sleeping through 10hours during the night. Yes the process was tiring and even heart wrenching at times, but we as a family reaps the benefits.

1. Baby C is less cranky and a much happier Baby

PD recommends that kids between 1-3 years get 13-15 hours of sleep daily. This is crucial for the development of the brain.

Ever since C started to sleep through the night, I've noticed a marked improvement in his temperament. He wakes up laughing and smiling in his cot daily. He doesnt cry nor fuss, jut moving his hands and legs laughing and exploring the room. C doesnt cry at all during the day (unless he poop or the sotong mummy forgot to feed him by the 3 hr mark). He is very alert and observant during the day, and I really enjoy playing with him, reading together, taking a walk together.

Baby C at 7am in the morning, smiling away in his cot!

2. Mummy E gets adequate rest

I am clocking 8-10hours of sleep daily. As a result, I'm well rested, happy, energetic during the day and definitely less irritable. Baby C benefits from having a happy mum too.



3. Time spent with Hubby

I'm always reminded of the danger in "over-investing" in the kid and "under-investing" in the marriage. There was a point after C was born when I was so tired, frustrated, irritable that I constantly took it out on hubby. (Sigh.. I'm so thankful for a tolerant husband). Ever since Baby C sleeps through the night, we find ourselves scooting off for a movie after 8pm, attends CG, chilling over a cup of tea together or simply catch up on our reading(or cartoons, thats for the hubby) at night. It really helped in building our marriage.

I'm sold. I totally believe in training a baby. Thanks JIAQI for sharing your experience and for the wonderful book :)

So to end it off, presenting my happy happy C! oops, abit of a sotong look :)